If you must face the prospect of laying off workers, better dig out that old Roget's Thesaurus from college--you may need it. Everyone is finding ways to obfuscate the dreaded word “layoff.”

BusinessWeek writer Jena McGregor reports in the December 22 issue that employers ready to shed workers are coming up with quite creative euphemisms--beyond “downsizing” and “rightsizing”--to spin and soften the bad news.

Here are some of her linguistic findings, which she calls “rosy words for pink slips,” with some of their origins:

• “Synergy-related headcount adjustment goal” (Siemans)
• “Action to simplify our organization” (eBay)
• “De-verticalization”
• “Offboarding,” “Rationalizing,” and “Surplusing” (these all sound cold and cruel to us)
• “Result of a strategic review of strategies” (Ha!)
• “RIF-ing”
• “Chao youyu” (from Hong Kong : it means to have one's squid cooked)

You don't need a thesaurus to get answers about federal and state compliance issues--BLR's What to Do About Personnel Problems [in Your State] is written in plain-English with no legalese.

“Companies think if [they're] not so bald and straight about the term, it will ease the impact … ease the pain a little,” says Challenger, Gray & Christmas CEO John Challenger in the article.

Note: HR Strange but True! won't be published next week because of the Christmas holiday. We wish everyone happy holidays.

Source: BusinessWeek

The City Council of South El Monte, California has imposed a cure on its workaholic mayor--a curfew. The vote, which actually banned all City Hall staff from working past 11 p.m., was 4 to 1, with the mayor casting the dissenting vote. However, it may not be altruistic concern for her well being that fueled the decision.

Mayor Blanca M. Figueroa calls herself a night owl who likes working late hours and doesn't mind being alone in City Hall at 2 or 3 a.m or even on Thanksgiving. “Do I have a private life?” No.,” she told the Los Angeles Times. “My job is 24/7.”

The mayor reports that she stays late in her office because she's at meetings all day and needs time to return phone calls from constituents. She can't work at her house because she doesn't have a copier or fax machine there. According to press reports, the mayor has all the comforts of home in her office, including a microwave, food, and even bedroom slippers and pet fish.

Are your employees difficult to manage? BLR's Easy Trainer: Supervisory & Management Skills gives essential training on workplace safety and more--right in your own office--day or night!

The mayor's nocturnal activities have been caught on the City Hall's surveillance cameras and have raised some concerns. “It's a matter of security, safety, and liability,” commented City Manager Anthony Ybarra to the LA Times. Council Member Hector Delgado told The New York Times that he was concerned with her leaving doors to the outside ajar in warm weather. “What if something happens to her?” he asked. He also said he felt her long nighttime hours were affecting her daytime demeanor.

The means of enforcing the curfew were not outlined in the curfew, but Mr. Delgado suggested publicly that the Council confiscate the mayor's keys.

Sources: LA Times and New York Times

Oscar Mayer is hiring a driver for its Wienermobile, but if you want the job, you should have a college degree and better be prepared to fight for the position with hundreds of other “wiener-wannabes.”

Oscar Mayer says it receives hundreds of applications each year from people who want to drive the Wienermobile, a position with the best job title we've heard in a while: Hotdogger.

What are the qualifications for the Hotdogger position? In addition to an appetite for adventure, a friendly personality, and boundless enthusiasm, t he company says applicants should have a college degree, preferably a BA or BS in public relations, journalism, communications, advertising, or marketing. The company says will consider candidates with other majors as well.

Why the preference for such degrees? The Hotdogger wears many hats. Besides learning to operate and maintain the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile vehicle, he or she will be:

• Acting as a goodwill ambassador through appearances on radio and television, newspaper interviews, and visits to grocery stores and charity functions
• Helping consumer promotion, marketing, and sales
• Aiding in the organization of promotions and even pitching TV, radio, and print media.

What does the job offer candidates? The company says it offers a competitive salary, plus expenses, benefits, and clothing.  The company also says the driver of the Wienermobile can expect to be treated like a mini-celebrity.

Hiring is one of the subjects in Top 10 Best Practices in HR Management for 2008 .

If you are interested in the position, be sure to memorize the Hotdogger Oath:

As official Hotdogger of the celebrated Oscar Mayer Wienermobile , I salami swear to uphold the dogma set forth here, and I promise to:

Encourage wiener lovers nationwide to relish the delicacy, ketchup on the great taste of hot dogs, and give in to the craving once it's mustard. Be frank and furthermore, to be upstanding in a line for hot dogs at ball parks, barbecues, buffets, and other bashes. Journey into the streets, dachs, und ports of my community, wish well to all comers, plump and lean--and leave them with a wiener to roast about. As once I wished I were, now I am--an Oscar Mayer Wienermobile Hotdogger.

Source: Oscar Mayer